I was just looking through all of these old posts... I'm not really sure why I started this blog in the first place. Perhaps as a notebook or an open letter? A murmur for attention? Clearly, I'm not dedicated to posting things here. But yes, I was just looking through all of these old posts, and noticed the one entitled "In anticipation of the Best Summer Ever". Thankfully, he's fine, but Jacob Hartman, the wordsmith who coined that phrase, recently had an accident while surfing, one that could have had a much worse outcome than it did. As always, he was in pursuit of the Best Summer Ever. Always. Even when it's not summer. Anyway, this isn't really about Jacob but about summer and life and time passing, I guess. Summer never ceases to hold some magical sway over me. But this summer, while not the Worst Summer Ever, is decidedly not the Best Summer Ever. And this makes me think that it's important to change my mind about summer. It can't be about time stretching out and the world slowly offering itself up to me, the way summer used to be. I'm learning to take my summer in small doses and without expectations, all throughout the year. I don't want to give up on summer entirely, though; it's just too heartbreaking. I have to think that some day I'll have summers again, but until then, I'm trying to get into Jacob's state of mind.
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1 comment:
lovely post and so true. summer to me seems always a thing of the past, something I tried to hold onto but it slipped through my hands. I like your idea of holding onto it as a state of mind, rather than a span of time. and if you can't do that in Los Angeles, where can you do it?
so nice to read you again, lovely!
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